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Beginning of the sacrifices (Diary Page 23)

Beginning of the sacrifices

It was the beginning of a journey full of sacrifices. Most moms give up on a lot of their hobbies and passions in this phase for various reasons, I had begun following in their footsteps. Cycling was the first to go. For a person cycling almost 200km a week, this was one of the hardest things. It was not only the joy of riding in the fresh air, it was also the freedom those two wheels gave me. Freedom to choose the path, pace of the ride, friends we ride with, and the memories we make. This trade-off was a hard one.

I had a set routine of waking up at 5 am getting ready and stepping out at 5:45 with Sameer. We were part of Mumbai's largest cycling network. For the initial few days, I would wake up at 5 in the morning not knowing what to do. I would watch Sameer get ready and leave on his bicycle.

In the last five years of cycling, I never really cared about the potholes, arrogant bus and rickshaw drivers who maneuvered like they owned the road, bikers who drove in the wrong directions early in the morning, and runners who would leave footpaths and almost run in the middle of the road. This phase of my life has made me more sensitive. In our cycling group, once a week, someone always reported falls or the unruly behavior of people on the street. In this phase of my life, I was more mindful of these issues.

The thought of something happening to Sameer also started scaring me. I had told him to message me every time they stopped for hydration or a tea break. He would do that most of the time but there were times he would miss and that would make me anxious. Once a passion, now it had become an activity I was anxious about.

Sameer and I share a bond so strong and both of us knew, although unsaid, that Sameer was free to pursue his hobbies and passions unless they bothered me.

I slowly learn to deal with a flurry of emotions, just so I can be an emotionally strong mother for raising a healthy baby.

I had already bid adieu to Alcohol, foods that would give me acidity, and home and personal care products that aggravated my Nausea. That was the easier part. But activities that were my passion were hard to let go of. I just kept telling myself that all these sacrifices are for a short phase. And all for my own and baby’s health. Nothing can be more important than that.

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