Best explanation to everyone's suspicion (Diary Page 26)

Best explanation to everyone's suspicion (Diary Page 26)

Best explanation to everyone's suspicion

I have been an active contributor to discussions and debates since my school days. I would bring a unique perspective to the whole conversation and that’s why everyone loved me being around. These conversations would continue in the boardroom, at house parties, and sometimes even over a smoke (well I don’t smoke, but would nonetheless give company to the smokers by passive smoking) And that’s where the trouble started.

Our Club had an open-air Sheesha lounge (Hukkah) and friends would gather over the weekend to catch up on life. Doctors had asked me to stay clear of any direct or indirect smoke for obvious reasons. Hukkah generates smoke, lots of it. I had stopped visiting Sheesha lounge even as part of my work, accompanying our friends was next to impossible. It was very soon that friends started noticing my absence. I kept on making excuses, something that I never do. By the first three weeks, I had made some excuses about office work, housework, service for pregnant Bhabhi, headaches, sleeping, and many others. They worked for the initial two weeks.

“Why do you always have work so late at the night?” their question was valid, every time. At 11 the night, most of my excuses wouldn’t stand ground. My first miscarriage and current pregnancy were a closely guarded secret, there was no room for breach. Sameer joined them on a couple of occasions but my absence was slowly being noticed. Some friends even asked us individually if everything was ok between us. It was obvious that some of the lame excuses were not working but we didn’t stop. We tried a variety of – a new diet, Mataji ka Vrat, sprained ankle, and whatnot…

We quickly became curious about why people started asking us. And the obvious answer was changes to our socializing patterns. At work, the clues were rooted in the time I took off for other appointments, curtailing drinks and selective socializing, looking messed-up in the morning, and making frequent visits to the washroom. Slowing down the pace of walking, taking extra support, and being extra cautious while walking said it all. We soon realized there will be smart (or over smart?) people around, they will likely guess from your behavior and make their assumptions.

Over the weeks we planned to break this news strategically to a few people but keep the big reveal for a later date. We would get awkward questions at the most unexpected moments but be ready to deflect them with a smile or a story. The best trick we did and trust me it did wonders for me was confronting the question with an affirmative answer ‘of course!’ and then laughing it off as a joke. It left them wondering while I enjoyed a good dose of laughter. We followed what Aai said – it’s entirely up to you when you want to tell. Go with what you’re comfortable with and make sure the special ones hear it directly from you.

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