Excitement, once again
It was the first time we hosted a Holi celebration at our Club. We had a turnout beyond our expectations. Every single corner of the Club had come alive splashing colors in the air. There were rain fountains sprinkling water, people were dancing to the tune of the DJ and feasting on the mouth-watering food. The holy fire had already burned away the negative energy and I could feel positivity and harmony all around. There was something more in my mind and heart that gave me deep satisfaction.
The financial year ended on a greater high and Sameer had some ambitious plans lined up. Spring was in full blossom, we had resumed our planning journey and just then, I realized I had missed my periods once again. It was already a week past my scheduled cycle date and we brought home the kit. By this time, we were wiser about the whole process. Here we go- and It’s positive. Wow! I had conceived once again. And that was too much faster than I had expected.
As advised, we confirmed the pregnancy through follow-up tests of Progesterone and Beta HCG. Results were indeed positive and now was the important part.
Although I was done with the guilt and grief from the first experience. But, this time, I wasn’t as excited as last time because due to the earlier miscarriage, I had so many fears about the journey forward. I felt more serious than happy, having discovered that I am pregnant again. It was a mixed feeling. A lot of uncertainty replaced the earlier innocent joy. I had a realistic approach this time and instead of going to a sweet shop, I went straight to my doctor and listed all the necessary tests, their timeline, and a list of health supplements.
The laundry list of “what-ifs” scenarios wandering in my head didn’t fade for a long, long time.